Squirrel Rapist

Trigger Warning – Rape

Let me tell you a purely hypothetical story.

A man meets a woman in a narrow hallway.  The woman leaves plenty of room for him to pass, but he instead leans in to sniff her chest.  The woman tries to push him away, and he responds by trying to grab her hands.  The woman fights him off and tries to run, but the man chases her and grabs her hair, turns her around and kisses her.  She tells him to leave her alone, and manages to break free.

She runs off, and asks a friend to help her, and the man runs up behind her and shoves her to the floor.

The friend says “I can’t help you.  He’s chosen his mate for life!  It’s a natural phenomenon.”

She crawls off and hides while the man is distracted, only for the friend to point out her hiding spot.  The man once again grabs and kisses her, while the friend watches her struggle against him.

It is at this point that the friend breaks into song.

I shit you not – this story, which seems more at home in A Clockwork Orange, is in a Disney movie, Sword in the Stone.

The only difference is that the victim is male, and the attacker is female. Also, they’re squirrels.

The creepy starts at 1:18.


You’re wasting time resisting
You’ll find the more you do
The more she’ll keep insisting
Her him has got to be you
It’s a rough game anyone knows
There are no rules, anything goes
There’s no logical explanation
For this discombooberation

Rape – it’s discombooberating!